


It's Over

by crutchie_394



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Panic Attacks, but they love each other so much, davey has anxiety, so it's all good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 01:58:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14660970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crutchie_394/pseuds/crutchie_394
Summary: “Alright,” Jack said. His voice was still just above a whisper, but Davey had taken his head out of his hands, and his blurry vision had cleared to see Jack’s face, full of concern. “What’s goin’ on, Dave? Was there a reason it happened?”~~~In which Jack is an idiot and also a Hopeless Romantic™ and Davey has some serious anxiety.





	It's Over

**Author's Note:**

> I'M NOT ABANDONING SPIDER'S RETURN I'M JUST A PROCRASTINATOR I PROMISE
> 
> TW: Panic attack. Please stay safe, babes!!

_Friday, 8:02 A.M_

_SantaFeBoi: i think im gonna do it tonight_

_Ace: Really??_

_SantaFeBoi: shit yeah. i mean i dunno_

_Ace: Jack, don’t be dumb, okay? If you love him you should do it._

_SantaFeBoi: if that was the only qualification i would have done it four years ago_

_Ace: You have the ring, you have the guy, now you just need the guts._

_SantaFeBoi: gee thanks_

_Ace: I’m serious, though. You’ve been planning this for so long, just do it already._

_SantaFeBoi: k_

_Ace: I hope ur not planning on doing it like that. Let me know how it goes!! If he says no then I’ll need a heads up so I can call in some emotional backup for your moping._

_SantaFeBoi: u think hes gonna say no??_

_Ace: Not really. But it’s always best to be prepared._

Jack sighed at Katherine’s apparent words of encouragement, turning off his phone and putting it back on the nightstand beside the bed. He could hear the clanging and sizzling of a pan on the stove in the kitchen, and the smell of bacon wafted through the open door.

Today. He was going to do it today. In all honesty, the thought made him a little queasy. What was he supposed to say? Should he have rehearsed this? He had all day. Should he rehearse it?

“Davey Jacobs,” he muttered under his breath, staring up at the ceiling. “Would you do me the honor of being Davey Jacobs-Kelly? Shit, no, I sound like an idiot…”

~

In all honesty, walking in on his boyfriend whispering to himself was far from the weirdest thing he’d experienced with Jack. After all, there was that time a week or two ago when Davey had gone to get him at his studio in the middle of the night and found him talking to his paintbrushes, fueled only on sleep deprivation and a mug of paint water.

“Jack?”

Jack’s head snapped up from the pillow, wide-eyed at being caught, but he still maintained an innocent smile.

“Mornin’, Dave.”

Davey shook his head and sighed, smiling. “There’s eggs and bacon. Hungry?”

“Starvin’.” Jack crawled out from under the covers, shivering at the sudden chill that came without them. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms over his head, then followed Davey out of the room without bothering to make a trip to the closet.

“Would it kill you to put a shirt on?” Davey called over his shoulder in fond exasperation, rooting through the cupboard for plates and glasses.

“Nah,” Jack shrugged, grinning as he leaned over the counter. “But would you really prefer me to get dressed?” he said, straightening to flex mockingly. Davey rolled his eyes, crossing with the dishes in hand and pecking him on the cheek as he passed.

“I think I’ll live,” he said. “Get the silverware, would you?”

Breakfast passed in comfortable silence, not much conversation exchanged between the clinking of glasses. Jack seemed a little on edge and was pushing more food around on his plate then he was eating, but Davey didn’t mention it — he was probably just tired from another late night in the studio.

“Well, I have the day off,” Davey said, rising to his feet as he scraped the last bit of eggs off his plate. “It’s records day at the school. You better head out soon.”

Jack groaned, leaning back in his chair. “How 'bout I just stay home today.”

“No,” Davey chastised lightly, coming up behind him and squatting down to wrap his arms around Jack’s waist. “Not a good idea.”

Jack pouted, sticking out his bottom lip and twisting his head around to see Davey. “Tryin’ to get rid of me that easily? I’m wounded, Davey.”

“No, I’m trying to get rid of those bills sitting on the counter, and we won’t do that anytime soon if you don’t quit laying around.”

Jack groaned again, dramatically heaving himself up, bringing Davey with him. Jack turned and grabbed Davey’s arms, bringing him around so they were face to face instead of face to back.

“I’ve gotta talk to you tonight,” he said. His light, teasing tone was gone, replaced with something more serious and hesitant.

“What about?”

“Our, uh…” Jack laughed nervously, running his fingers through his tangled mop of hair and gesturing between them with his other hand. “Our relationship, I guess? Sounds cheesy, but I’ll be back tonight to, uh, say it better — I think.”

As Jack stammered through an explanation, Davey stared at him, trying to put the words together so they would make an ounce of sense. Their relationship? What the hell did that mean?

“Our relationship?” he said, mimicking his thoughts. “Are you… are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” Jack shouted, a little too fast to ease Davey’s suspicions. “No. I just… need to talk to you.” He brought Davey in for a kiss, hands on his shoulders. Davey gladly returned it, even as his train of thought mulled over the words again and again in his head. “I’ll see you tonight about it. I love you.”

Davey smiled into the kiss. “I love you too.”

~

“I think I’m gonna call it off.”

“No, you’re not,” Crutchie said, swinging his crutch out at Jack and hitting him in the shin.

“I dunno what I’m supposed to say!” Jack protested, grumpily rubbing the sore spot. “Do I plan a speech? When am I s’pposed to pop the question? Do I say it outright?”

“Well, first you need to stop pacin’ and take a deep breath,” Crutchie said. Jack obliged, collapsing next to him on the pullout couch shoved in the corner of his studio. “Just say whatever comes to mind, okay? If you love him, you should feel comfortable around him, right? You’ll know what to do when the time comes. It’ll feel natural.”

“How do you know?”

Crutchie shrugged. “I’ve been askin’ around. I kinda knew this was comin’. That’s what Katherine said happened when she asked Sarah. Remember she was freakin’ out right before? And Sarah still said yes, right?”

“I don’t wanna pressure him into nothin’, though.”

“And you won’t,” Crutchie assured him patiently. “He’ll make his own decision. I’ve seen him makin’ heart eyes at you, though. I wouldn’t be too worried about his answer.”

Jack pouted and gave him a friendly punch in the arm. “We do not make heart eyes.”

“You can tell yourself that,” Crutchie said, shrugging vaguely.

~

As the minutes ticked by, the clock in the kitchen announcing each hour that passed, Davey grew more and more anxious waiting for Jack to come home. Their talk that morning hadn’t soothed him at all. If anything, Jack’s rushed words just made the panic creep in quicker.

They had to be breaking up. What else could “talking about their relationship” mean? Sure, Jack got flustered when he was nervous, but what would he have to be nervous about?

His leg was bouncing at lightning speed, fidgeting with his hands in his lap and glancing at the door every few seconds.

Jack was leaving him. He had found someone better, someone he loved more. Someone he deserved.

Davey’s breaths were coming faster. He put a hand on his tightening chest, trying to steady them, but his head was pounding and he couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the thoughts that were blurring together in his mind.

Jack didn’t love him anymore — hell, maybe he had never loved him in the first place. All the late night whispers and hugs and kisses — they could have all been fake, for all he knew.

His hands were shaking. The bile rising in his throat warned him he was an inch away from discarding the remnants of what could have been his last meal with the man he loved all over the floor. He was glad he had skipped lunch.

What did he do? He needed Jack. Had it always been like this — had Jack been planning it, or had Davey done something to screw it all up, to end that one thing in his life that made him happy beyond belief.

He put his head in his hands, feeling the sweat building up on his forehead and blinking away the black spots dotting his vision. He would not pass out. He had to keep it together, for Jack’s sake.

~

Jack took a few shallow breaths before he opened the door. He fingered the black velvet box in his pocket. Katherine had been right after all, now that he was here and thinking about it. He had the perfect ring, the perfect guy — he was still waiting on that courage, though.

He swung the door open. Better late than never, right? But, as he stepped inside, he could immediately tell there were more important things at hand than his nerves. Davey was hyperventilating on the couch, his head bowed low enough to graze his knees.

“Davey?” Jack stuffed his keys in his pocket, slamming the door and immediately regretting it as Davey jumped at the sudden noise. “Davey, babe, what happened?”

Davey didn’t reply. Jack took a few slow steps forward, analyzing the situation. A panic attack. He had helped Davey through more than a few before, and he knew how awful they could be. He kneeled in front of his boyfriend.

“Davey, it’s Jack. Can I touch you? Is that okay?”

It took a minute, but Davey nodded his head a fraction of an inch. Jack took his hands carefully, and Davey flinched but didn’t pull away, which was a good sign.

“Good. You’re doin’ a really good job, Davey,” Jack said softly. “Can you breathe for me? In and out, c’mon. It’s okay. I’m here now. In for three, hold for three, out for three.”

~

Davey released a shaky breath, already calmer at the soothing sound of Jack’s gentle, warm voice. He recognized the breathing patterns through his muddled mind, counting silently in his head and moving his lips with the beats. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three.

They sat together for what could have been ten minutes or an hour. Davey’s breath evened out, slowly but steadily, as Jack talked, his words grounding.

“Alright,” Jack said. His voice was still just above a whisper, but Davey had taken his head out of his hands, and his blurry vision had cleared to see Jack’s face, full of concern. “What’s goin’ on, Dave? Was there a reason it happened?”

Davey chewed his lip, avoiding the appraising gaze by staring down at his socks. Jack reached out, hesitating. When Davey nodded, he planted his hands on either side of his face, rubbing the dry tears tracking down his cheeks with his thumb.

“It was…” Davey cleared his scratchy, hoarse throat. Wordlessly, Jack removed his hands, got to his feet and returned with a tall glass of water, pressing it into his hand with a small smile. Davey took a grateful sip before starting again, rubbing the fabric of his shirt between his thumb and forefinger as he spoke.

~

“It was because you said you needed to talk, I guess,” Davey murmured.

Oh. Right. In the heat of the moment, he had somehow forgotten about what was soon to be one of the most important days of his life. But that could happen to anybody. “Right… what was it that made you panic, though? I’m not judgin’ you, just wanna make sure it don’t happen again.”

He watched Davey twist the hem of his shirt before speaking. He refused to look up, and his eyes squeezed shut as he stuttered. “Are you breaking — are you breaking up with me?”

Jack’s head shot up from where he had been rubbing circles on his boyfriend’s hand. “What?”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Davey repeated. Jack felt something painfully pierce his heart at the broken expression on his face, void of emotion.

“No… Dave, no!” Jack said. Davey tensed up, his shoulders hunching. “Sorry. I just… no, baby, no. I’m not breakin’ up with you. Shit, I’m sorry, I was too vague this mornin’, wasn’t I? I’m so sorry. No, I’m not goin’ anywhere if you ain’t.”

Davey finally tore his gaze away from his lap. “Really? Okay, thank you. I mean, not thank you, I just thought you found someone better than me that doesn’t panic because their boyfriend said he needed to talk and —”

Jack clamped a hand over his mouth before he could ramble any further, then brought it away to replace it with a gentle kiss. “Davey, shut up. You’re the only person I wanna be with. And… well, actually…” He hesitated for a second. Better now than never. He was already kneeling in front of the couch. Carefully, he slid one of his legs out in front of him, raising himself up as he fumbled in his pocket. Tactfully ignoring his pounding heart, he drew the box out of his pocket. “You’re always gonna be the only person I wanna be with. This was supposed to be more romantic and shit, but I mean… you’re in your pajamas and we’re both shakin’ and it ain’t really what I was plannin’, but… this life is all I want. ‘Cause all that romantic shit ain’t always us, and if this is what it’s gonna be like, that’s what I want. David Jacobs, would you marry me?”

~

_Friday, 6:40 P.M_

_SantaFeBoi: im engaged now_

_Ace: Called it._

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I know everyone's experiences with anxiety are different. I've gone through a couple panic attacks myself and I asked some of my friends what they go through with anxiety, so I wasn't taking a shot in the dark with this.
> 
> Thanks for reading!! Kudos, comments and feedback are always appreciated. Have a good day!


End file.
